Kai Davis, Fuck I Look Like
Fuck I look like. No really. Fuck I look like?
I look like you got me fucked up is what I look like. You’re lookin’ at me like I’m not supposed to be standin’ here next to you, like we in the same class, but your idea of advanced is too advanced so my mind can’t match you. I think it’s my vernacular, how I got half the consonants and twice the apostrophes so my philosophy can’t be valid, like I speak slave and you speak slave master. This isn’t a plantation, it’s a classroom.
White people think they run shit, because they got money to buy a thesaurus. You say ‘gargantuan,’ I say big-as-shit. It’s still big as shit, it don’t really matter. I guess AP stands for asshole pretentiousness and if you don’t know what that means, look it up, find a synonym, you like doin’ that shit.
You also seem to like judging a book by the color of its author. Because, apparently, Maya Angelou is inferior due to her grammatical errors, but white man, Mark Twain can write a whole novel with nothing but grammatical errors and that shit is a literary masterpiece. Well, I can’t help but to pardon my peoples’ slang, cos real n[…]s ain’t real n[…]s if they ain’t got a twang.
I won’t apologize for mean-muggin’ from the back of the classroom, talkin’ ‘bout existentialism like a mothafuckin’ boss. It’s not your fault if you can’t buy it from (?) me. N[…]s can’t buy it from (?) me either, because as soon as I raise my hand for anything other than a bathroom break, I become a weirdo. And god forbid I excel! A 4.0 means I’m four shades lighter, because apparently, intelligence is a white trait.
At least, that’s what I’ve gathered. This one girl asked me, “Why would I use big words? So I can sound like you?” You know what I sound like? Like I’ve read a book before. According to my people, I act smart, so I act white. So I can’t be black and be smart because black people are dumb? All this is, is self hate and to them that’s acceptable, because white people told us n[…]s not to read 300 years ago and now n[…]s tellin’ other n[…]s not to read. What are we afraid of?
It’s like you think giving 100% means getting 100 lashes and my people don’t even know that we’re working with our oppressors, just passin’ on the torch while we can’t pass the bar, ‘cos the bar’s been set so low, we’re crushing under the weight and you expect me to cut class and get a F, just to perpetuate the stereotype that’s been instilled through this bullshit curriculum? Fuck I look like!?
I will never equate stupidity with my melanin or will I ever sacrifice my skin for the white man’s standards, so never ask that I speak for anyone but me, represent anything but what I stand for, and fight for anything but what I believe in, and if anybody ever expects me to do anything but be myself, they got me fucked up!
I have goosebumps