I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them
ugh I have this deep love for vulnerable/weak/sad people. one time I saw an insanely drunk guy get kicked out of a bar by police, they tackled him onto the ground with his face pushed into the dirt and his shoe was missing and I felt so sorry for him that I actually fell in love with him. was tempted to give him my number and tell him to message me when he got out of his coma
“You have nothing to feel ashamed of. I want you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. Please know that you were chosen by a monster. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for it and, most of all, you didn’t deserve it.”—Writer-director Tyler Perry • In an open letter, published by The Daily Beast, to an 11-year-old alleged victim in the Jerry Sandusky case. “Do you know that at the young age of 11 you had more courage than all the adults who let you down?” he writes. “All of the ones who didn’t go to the proper authorities, all of the ones who were worried about their careers, reputations, or livelihoods. All of the ones who didn’t want to get involved. Or even the ones who tried to convince your mother not to fight. You are stronger than them all! I wonder what they would have done if it were their own child.” (via shortformblog)
it’s pretty shit when you try and enjoy a night out but have your ex boyfriend shouting ‘slut’ at you every time you walk past and condescendingly waving and smiling at you in order to aggravate you, but like, when you finally get to bed and receive a message from an attractive bearded male saying he’s outside your window waiting for a kiss, you sort of forget all that dumb shit and focus on having a good time? it’s unfortunate that not everyone values the good over the bad but whatever
I have a million things to do before work but instead I’m just ironing all of the clothes I might potentially want to wear in the next few days and eating a lot of lollipops because the whole thing is weirdly relaxing? ironing is fun apparently
“To remember that culture is not what one is but what one has, or rather, what one has become; to remember the social conditions which render possible aesthetic experience and the existence of those beings - art lovers or ‘people of taste’ - for whom it is possible; to remember that the work of art is given only to those who have received the means to acquire the means to appropriate it and who could not seek to possess it if they did not already possess it, in and through the possession of means of possession as an actual possibility of effecting the taking of possession; to remember, finally, that only a few have the real possibility of benefiting from the theoretical possibility, generously offered to all, of taking advantage of the works exhibited in museums - all this is to bring to light the hidden force of the effects of the majority of culture’s social uses.”—
“Social psychologists and police officers tend to agree that if a window in a building is broken and is left unrepaired, all the rest of the windows will soon be broken. This is as true in nice neighborhoods as in rundown ones. Window-breaking does not necessarily occur on a large scale because some areas are inhabited by determined window-breakers whereas others are populated by window-lovers; rather, one unrepaired broken window is a signal that no one cares, and so breaking more windows costs nothing.”—
technically I have it on my phone but the only time I have ever used it is to take pictures of the boring objects in my room when I am supposed to be writing essays so I can marvel at the way that instagram is really good at making absolutely nothing look kind of cool and suddenly interesting. so um don’t follow me on it unless you want to see a lot of pictures of lamps and photoframes and my mousepad.
also I don’t really understand the purpose of it haha I would rather just post photos of my boring life on tumblr and annoy you guys that way!
what's the ap that you can put more than one image in one photo, like split the screen with a border???
do you mean a photoset? just add one photo and there will be a button that says ‘+ add another photo’. you can add as many as you want. it will let you play around with the way the images are displayed and the order they are displayed etc etc. I am pretty sure you can’t do it on phones though? unless that is what you are asking haha. in which case I have nooo idea about doing it on a phone. hope that helps?
I cannot be bothered reblogging the post but this is in direct relation to the pro-porn vs. anti-porn discussion that is currently going around. I feel as though this discussion has come to light after the numerous articles with both positive and negative views in regards to the Sasha Grey reading to kids and her ‘feminist vs anti-feminist toilet bowl licking’ scene. I, for one, would be pleased if my children came home and told me that their idol were Sasha Grey, or Stoya, because they are both extremely intelligent, charismatic women who absolutely own who they are.
I feel as though I need to highlight the common mistake that most people make when discussing this subject: People. Watch. Porn. It’s as simple as that, people watch porn. People that watch porn, myself included, do so for one simple reason - to get turned on, to get off. As an individual that watches and enjoys porn, I can safely say that the majority of those that watch porn don’t sit there before, during or after viewing the pornographic material and wonder the background of the scene, the background of the porn star or why they got into the industry. They merely sit there to have a mind-blowing orgasm and assume the position of the male with a huge penis, or a woman with a size 2 waist and huge knockers. No, I’m not saying that this is a healthy ideal but it is one that is real and shouldn’t be ignored.
Whilst we can sit here and quote negative statistics that we have read, studied or merely seen about the porn industry we also have to bring light to the positives of the industry. For many people, the porn industry is one where they are able to be themselves - to escape the every day judgement that sex is taboo. We are on the verge of a sexual outbreak and therefore sex, masturbation and desires should not be considered taboo. Yes, many women, and men, get into porn because they have had bad experience or they have been forced into it by their partners or someone they feel as though has authority over them. Yes, their safe words may be ignored and they may be taken advantage of but this doesn’t happen just in this industry. It happens in many industries, in fact. A friend of mine was sexually taken advantage of working at JBHIFI. She told the authority and nobody did anything about it, so she left. Now, that is NOTHING like the porn industry, nor does it have any relation to it. In fact, they don’t even sell pornographic material there.
Pornographic material is not normalising violent sex, or sexual relationships. It seems to be normalising this act of violence because we are no longer treating the underlying issues of mental health, or teaching people otherwise. This is why there are disclaimers before pornographic videos, or at the front of magazines, stating that all those participating are over the legal age and are willingly participating - that they are CONSENTING. I, for one, do not feel the need to go out and participate in a violent act of fucking a woman against the wall with my hands around her throat purely because I have seen it in a movie. Why, you may ask? Because I do not have an underlying mental health issue that needs to be taken care of. I honestly feel that if we had a stronger mental health system or people were able to access these services then we would have lesser percentages of people suggesting, or stating, that they committed these crimes because of pornographic material.
I feel as though the diversity that is now shown within pornography allows for it to be inclusive to people of all genders, backgrounds and upbringings. The common mistake that people place themselves in the porn industry because they were abused, assaulted or whichever as children, teenagers or adults is a very generalised comment. I was assaulted and you don’t see me taking part in porn - sure, I post a few naked photos here and there but I have no intention on making pornographic material and sending it to others purely because I was exploited as a child.
I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TYPING ANYMORE. HOPEFULLY EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS.
I am also not really bothered with typing ahah but I just want to say a couple of things
the fact that there are positives about the porn industry doesn’t negate the negatives. even if the bad experiences people have had in porn are the minority, those people still exist and those issues need to be addressed
I feel like if you are passionate about using porn as a vehicle for becoming more open about sex and removing the taboo associated with sex (which is good, I agree), then you should also be passionate about making porn an industry that is as safe, inclusive and progressive as possible.
sexual harassment and assault happens in virtually every arena of society, absolutely. but there are problems that are exclusive and specific to porn (ie the PTSD stat)
I have to disagree with your bit about videos having a disclaimer about the content being consensual etc etc. I don’t think I have ever seen porn that discussed consent beforehand. the only thing I have seen is a little bit of text confirming that the models are over 18 ie they are only concerned with liability. I have discussed this with a friend before and we agreed that one positive step porn could take is to have messages/warnings on their sites and videos confirming that the content is consensual and that you must gain someone’s enthusiastic consent before trying it with them. or something along those lines. that is definitely not something I ever see. I suspect that it’s probably more common in BDSM films (which I don’t really watch), but the reality is that mainstream porn is becoming more and more like BDSM only without the safe words, without the fetish tag and without the extra precautions.
in the past, things like anal, double penetration and rough blowjobs were considered part of a fetish. today, you can find those things on the homepage of virtually any mainstream porn site. it’s become standard. any kid watching porn in this era would think that all sex ended with a cumshot to the face. I think it’s really important to ask why certain acts have gradually become commonplace and what it says about our culture. all of those things lean towards the increasingly violent nature of porn and the increasing emphasis on the submissiveness of women and the aggressiveness of men. I just…don’t think that is a coincidence. things happen for a reason. I want to discuss the reason porn has gone down this road.
I also disagree that people who internalize the messages in porn or commit sexual assault are mentally ill - I would say they’re just normal people who have soaked up rape culture to the extent that it begins to reflect in their behaviour. I feel like a lot of predatory behaviour is learned behaviour, and it’s learned through porn. suggesting that mental illness is the cause of sexually predatory behaviour by extension suggests that mental illness effects men in overwhelming numbers compared to women. I don’t believe that men make up 99% of sexual offenders because they’re mentally ill, they make up the majority of offenders because they live in a rape culture that presents aggressive male sexuality and female submissiveness as the default and as the standard for sex. men aren’t naturally violently misogynistic.
I think we both really strongly support making sex less taboo and I always think it’s really cool seeing you talk about sex a lot on tumblr and being open and unashamed, but we probably just have different ideas about porn’s role in changing the way people see sex?
I bought two cheap tshirts today with the intention of cutting them into cropped tees and I just tried to do the first one and fucked it up completely and I’m all sweaty because it’s a million degrees and now I’m grumpy and flustered and mad at how completely unskilled I am at anything that involves even the smallest level of hand eye co ordination and patience
However, I’m very much against how the porn industry currently functions. Meaning I am against the false notion that the only people who consume porn are white, hetero, cis-men, and as such the porn industry caters to that group. I’m pro alternative/queer/feminist porn because it displays a variety of people consensually engaging in sexual activities, and thus creating an atmosphere where sexuality can be learned and expressed in healthy ways.
TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I am pro-sex work but it just seems like a lot of people who are pro-porn are refusing to look at the industry critically and really examining how it works.
we need to talk more about the power porn has to shape the way people have sex, the way porn creates standards and expectations for women and men, contributes to rape culture and sends a tonne of damaging messages to the people who watch it. we need to talk about the fact that two thirds of porn actresses suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder: a rate that is twice as high as that of vietnam war veterans. we need to talk about the women who are coerced into porn or sold into porn by their husbands, boyfriends, pimps and fathers. we need to talk about the ways that women have had their safe words ignored in porn or their boundaries pushed. we need to talk about the studies that have shown that violent sexual offenders are not only more likely to commit crimes if they employ the use of pornography, but they are likely to precede their sexual assaults with the extended use of it. we need to talk about the way that sexual offenders re-create and mimic behaviour from porn on their victims. we need to ask if there is a correlation between the fact that porn is becoming more widely accessible and the fact that sexual offenders are getting increasingly younger. we need to consider the fact that 14 year olds have sexually assaulted young girls and put guns inside their vaginas, then readily admitted that they were copying what they had seen done in porn. we need to talk about the way that porn is normalising violent sex and normalising aggresive masculine sexuality.
there is no doubt in my mind that sasha grey is a very intelligent, driven, self aware and successful individual and there is no doubt in my mind that she is proud of the work that she does. what I am not sure of, however, is that everybody who watched her work knows that. we need to recognise that the motives and intentions held by porn actresses are not the end of the conversatoin: we need to discuss the motives and intentions of the people who consume that porn. I specifically want to ask why porn has gone in the direction that it has, who controls mainstream porn, who consumes it and why, and what are the explicit consequences of an increasingly violent and misogynistic porn landscape? I suspect that they’re not very good.
sometimes I feel like this unquestioning support of porn is part of the ‘female chauvinist pig’ effect, if you will. I kind of see porn as a boys club, and there are a lot of feminists who would rather get in on the fun and join that boys club rather that challenge it and make the boys club an inclusive place for all people.
I find myself really torn between being pro or anti porn; there are powerful arguments on either side of the debate. I think these are just some of the points that I’d like to see pro-porn feminists address. by that I don’t mean that I wish to shatter their arguments with these points, but I mean that I want them to incorporate these aspects into their analysis of porn and approach it a bit more critically.
this is a bit of a long shot but there’s a piece by andrea dworkin where she essentially compares the degradation of women in porn to the degradation of black slaves and compares the way their oppression has been received. it’s not an essay, I am pretty sure it’s considered part of her fictional writing. it’s written very differently to her speeches and essays but it’s really powerful (albeit pretty controversial and maybe misguided). I cannot find it! I want to read it again in light of all the discussions about porn that have been popping up on my dash lately
“Unnecessary specialized language is used to humiliate those who are not supposed to feel entitled. It sells the Illusion that only those who can wield it can think.”—Aurora Levins Morales, Certified Organic Intellectual from Telling to live: Latina Feminist Testimonios (via art-is-the-word)
“Remember, the public has long been ahead of the media in understanding that news is not as it seems. The defensiveness of journalists to discuss openly the way they work, and the way news is selected has left them behind. For me, the horrific human carnage of the wanton invasion of Iraq was the ‘final straw’ — if one was needed. The invasion caused the deaths of more than a million men, women and children — that’s the figure that comes from the Johns Hopkins University epidemiological survey, the only peer-reviewed study, and it’s higher than the Fordham University estimate of the number of people who died in the Rwanda genocide. The Johns Hopkins work was attacked and ignored by much of the western media, so that most people in the West have no idea of the sheer scale of suffering caused by their governments. According to Dan Rather, the former CBS news anchor I interview in my film, had journalists in the US done their job and challenged the lies about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction, instead of amplifying and echoing them, the invasion may not have happened. So the blood of all those people is on our hands in the media.”—John Pilger (via azspot)